I was having a hard time coming up with a topic for a blog entry. Of course, since it is Tuesday, I could always throw together a random Top Ten, but I'm not really not in the mood to just ramble. Instead, I thought I would travel back in time to this exact date last year and see what was going on in my life. Here is the post. Wow! Some things do not change. I feel like a broken record. Here is an excerpt for that blog entry:
"I am pledging right now to: not eat after 8pm and to "Dance" at least 4 days a week."
Obviously, I failed to accomplish that pledge. ha! As I was driving to work today the "no eating after 8pm" entered my mind. How is that for coincidence? It's so easy for me to say no eating late, but actually achieving this goal has proven to be one of the hardest things of my life for me to tackle. What does that say about me? I've gone through so much with my Momma, Grannie and the Demon. So much drama with other relationships and stress with money. But in the end.. I have the hardest time with food.
I have let food control me.
If you ask anyone that really knows me they will attest to me being one of the most controlling people they know. I have to control everything around me in some way, shape or form. I can't even let the boys decorate a Christmas tree without my controlling nature kicking in and taking over. If I manage to hold off while the Demon does something, I go back behind him to redo it "the right way".
Why is food so different?! Why can't I control the hell out of my food intake! I see some people have such great weight loss success. I'm so envious. I am just as strong as they are.
I'm ready to take control of this situation.
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