totally out of the blue.

yesterday seemed to be going along like every other normal, boring, tuesday.  the day was going very s l o w l y  and i couldn't wait to be off of work.  currently, i have the oldies radio station playing while i'm working.  i get so bored with local radio that i have to change it up or i will go nuts.  

throughout the day i was laughing it up online, through texts, at the office.. just a generally decent day.  completely out of the blue i flashed back to a drive to hospice to visit with my mom.  suddenly my heart was racing and i was having trouble breathing.  it felt as though someone was sitting on my chest.  i have no idea what triggered the event but it was real and i hated every second i lived it.  after about 15 minutes or so of some slow, deep breathing i was okay again, and,  i've been fine since.

it's not fair how your mind and body does that.. it totally revolts.  i was not sad or upset before feeling so, outside of myself.  i was happy.  hours later i was thinking about what may have been the moment that through my mind into that tailspin of, what i can only describe as, a mild anxiety (panic) attack.  i remembered a few righteous brothers songs being played earlier in the day.  they were one of my mom's favorites.  maybe, hearing those songs being played in the background of my day, triggered the episode?  maybe not.  

i'm glad it only lasted a short time & i hope it's a very long time before i ever deal with that sort of situation ever again!