May 2, 2012

forever changed.



if someone would have told me as my mom was sitting in an emergency room, 20 days ago,  that those conversations would have been my last coherent moments with her, i wouldn't have believed them.  but that is exactly what has happened. 

 if you had told me that afternoon that 20 days later i would be making call after call informing the appropriate people (social security, medicare.. the bank) that my mother has passed away - i probably would've punched your teeth down your throat.  but, that is exactly what happened.

20 days.  seriously.  i can't really wrap my head around much of this.

don't get me wrong.  my mom has suffered with MS for close to 30 years.  she would have wanted nothing more than to be where ever she is right now..and where ever that is, is where i hope to see her again.  she's waited so long to say good bye to that body.  and, while knowing that has helped ease the pain of everything that has happened over the last 20 days, the fact still remains that my mom is gone.

walking into her room and seeing her air mattress deflated is just another harsh reminder.

our lives will go on... although.. the lives will forever be changed.

3 comments:

  1. <3 Hugs to you babe, what a beautiful picture.I'm thinking about you guys.

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  2. Casey, I am so sorry. If there is anything I can do.... Please let me know. I am here for you! Much love and prayers to you and your family....

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  3. I love the picture and am thinking of you, K, Josh, lil J, Val and Grannie. Nothing any of us can say will make this easier or make it better. Just know that EVERYONE who knows and loves you is here for you whenever you need us. You're going to handle this in your own way and in your own time and that's acceptable and totally understandable. I'll continue to think of you always as I always have but even more so now during this time. Much love to you and the family. <3

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