I wrote back in September about my fears regarding the Demon and his future with Ulcerative Colitis. Since then, I don't know that I'm any more confident in the decision we've made. I know what we have to do. I know that the Demon is ready for this journey to come to an end. I know his dad is ready for the surgery. Everyone is counting down the days. So why can't I shake this feeling??
Before we left for his scopes Friday I was in the shower....I broke down crying. The day is getting closer and closer and these final tests just make it so much more real.
I have the best friends and family surrounding me. Really...my close friends are becoming more family than I ever imagined. I have never had friends like the ones I have in my life right now.. ever. I am so thankful to have them in my life... in our lives. They know the right things to say and do to comfort ever fear I seem to show.
I guess, as one close friend keeps reminding me, I have to have faith that everything is going to be alright. He has told me those words over and over again throughout these past few weeks. I guess faith is all I can go on right now.. because no matter how great the odds are that everything is going to be fine.. I worry.
I worry a lot.
You are his mommy, nothing is going to stop you from worrying no matter how confident you are in the decision. But he will be okay and will be so much happier after the surgery!
ReplyDeleteMy GI doc got his colostomy at the age of 14. He's in his 50's now. I envy him b/c he doesn't have to be tied to a bathroom. K will NEVER have to worry about that. After all the years I have dealt with this, I wish I could have one too! You make decisions based on what you know at that time. Who knows what the future holds-hopefully a cure! You are allowing K to take the lead on this one-you are supporting him!! There can't be any regrets.
ReplyDeleteWe had an ostomy nurse join us at our last support meeting. She had incredible information. The equipment has come so far and there are so many choices. Learned to call them 'pouches' instead of 'bags!!'
Lisa's right-as mom's we will ALWAYS worry! I'm here if you need me!