...that i don't think about her.
i've heard that exact sentence many times over my lifetime. i often wondered exactly what it meant. does that person mean they constantly think of their loved ones that have died? why would they be triggered, every day, to think about them? a stupid question really. it's not that i doubted their sadness - i just never completely understood.
now, i understand.
from tv shows and commercials to songs and current events... i think about her daily - a lot.
every night i lay my head to pillow with the hopes that she will be in my dreams. i'm still waiting.
every picture i take i think to myself how much she'd love to see what's going on with the outside world.
the other day the demon made a comment to me. he seemed disappointed as we were talking about the new ice age movie that is playing, currently, in theaters. he was upset because since we're not going to see it in the theater he thought he would never get to see it because "we probably won't buy the movie since grandma isn't here to buy it." you see, while i go out and purchase the newest horror movie as it's released.. it has always been my mom buying all the children/family movies. it's those movies that she loved to watch and loved even more watching with the kids. and as far as the demon was concerned - without my momma - he would not get to see those types of movies. i had to reassure him that he didn't have anything to worry about, i will get him the movie but i know, ultimately, it's watching them with my Momma that he misses the most.
i know it hasn't been long at all since her passing but i sincerely can't wait for the day that i can think of her and think of only good things and not be overwhelmingly sad.
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