Truth is...

... i'd rather not blog at all than to fake happiness while blogging.  does that make sense?  when i decided to make the conscious effort to put some time into blogging every day i thought it would help the funk.  truth is?  it didn't.  i follow a lot of various blogs and i see (mostly) such happiness in their posts.  i know - things aren't always as they appear - but... it does make me feel even more funky.  i mean, hell, i did fake it for a few days around here!  but i realized i can't fake the happy.  faking the happy makes me feel even worse.

that said, i've had random bits of happiness sprinkled through my life in the last few weeks.  here's a recap:

• we've been to trader's world a couple times.  as white trashy, smelly, and full of just plain weird people as trader's world IS, i love going there.  i bought a crap ton of candy cigarettes.  crap ton = 2 boxes = 48 boxes.  i ate them all in a week.  so yes, that made me happy!  i had to show restraint when we went back the week after i purchased them and to fight the urge to buy more.

• i've come to the harsh realization that i've put back on almost 15lbs that i lost.  how does one even do that?  in a matter of months... obviously i eat funky while experiencing the funk.  i can only hope to start new after the new year and hope to find the motivation i have lost.

• the demon is finally on christmas break.  i love when he's off school if for no other reason than i get to sleep an extra hour during the week.  sleep always makes me happy.

• the demon had a slight setback a few weeks ago.  we've been trying to fatten him up while slowing down the trips to the bathroom.  it looks like we're finally on the right path.  the trips have gone down, and he's eating!

• i've owned my camera for over a year now and i absolutely love the long zoom and the results from taking pictures outdoors.  recently after the christmas show at church, i decided i wanted a better camera.  well, a camera that functioned better in low lighting.  i've been googling, searching, and browsing everything i can online.  the other day, while playing with my camera i realized i could change the settings.  (i knew i could, but didn't realize how changing them would/could improve my pictures)  after changing something (i can't remember specifically what i changed right at this moment..)  the pictures appear to be so much crisper - even the low light pictures!  saturday will be the true test for that POS.  if i don't see significant improvement.. i'm forking out the money for  a new one.  happiness will be improved pictures!

so, aside from the few christmas shows that i love to watch and rewatch all season, that's about it.  i probably will not check in here, again, until after christmas at which time i will bombard you all with photos.   hopefully, photos that show much improvement.  

merry christmas everyone!!