After being in the hospital, again, last week I thought I would dedicate this Top Ten to the stay.
Top Ten things the Demon and I hate about spending time in the hospital...
01. Absolutely no privacy. People... from the nurses and doctors to the housekeepers and the people that come for the dirty linens.. no privacy at all.
02. No sleep. That one is pretty self explanatory. But for those that may have missed my rants - a normal night consists of a nurse or PCA coming into the room around the clock (every 4 hours) to check vitals. In between those sleep interruptions, a nurse is periodically checking the IV site. Add to those disruptions housekeeping coming in, every. single. night. at 1:30 am to change out the garbage bags. Miserable.
03. The furniture is SO uncomfortable. From the bouncy type of chairs, to the wooden rockers, to the crappy sofas... all painfully uncomfortable. The brief moment of comfort that I experienced while the Demon was in the hospital was laying next to him on the hospital bed.
04. The worst shower curtains. I think they take a regular size shower curtain and cut it into thirds. The damn curtain doesn't even completely close across the opening.
05. The fact that the freakin' cafeteria is on the exact opposite side of the hospital of the Demon's room. ARG. I wish someone would invent a real life "Wonkavator". We need one that goes sideways - from Location A to Location C.
06. The smell of the linens. P U. I imagine it has to do with the sterilization of the blankets, sheets and pillow cases, but they reek! Normally, I bring blankets and pillows from home.. but this time I was not going to haul a lot of crap for, what I was hoping to be, a short stay.
07. The lack of choices for television channels. Now, I understand this is a Children's hospital. I don't expect ScyFy or LOGO or anything freaky.. but really? Not even TBS?! TVLand?! SOMETHING!? My brain can only handle so much Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network before I start mumbling, incoherently about Dora sleeping with Spongebob.
08. Every morning there is a tribe of people with mobile computers in the hallway. A friend has described this mob of people as the "traveling circus". It's crazy! I assume they discuss each patient and their treatment plans. The only problem with this group of doctor/students is that they take up the ENTIRE hallway. They don't even move if they see you walking with your child as that child is trying to drag an IV pole. It's awful trying to navigate the group, of what seems like 20-25 ppl, to get to and from your room.
09. We get no notification of transport coming to take the Demon to either an XRay or other various tests. We get a knock on the door... ready or not... "I'm here to take you to radiology." Huh? Hold on, let me grab my PANTS and we'll be right with you. Grrr.
10. And, because this bears repeating.. the level of discomfort the pull out sofa provides is mind blowing. You can't imagine (unless you've had the misfortune of sleeping on one at the hospital) that such a "cushiony" piece of furniture could be so awful. There were nights when the cold, hard floor seemed like a better option. At least, you expect the floor to be horribly uncomfortable!
I want to end this "bitch" fest with a positive. We, here in Cincinnati, are SO incredibly blessed to have this Children's Hospital in our backyard. People, that are fortunate enough to not experience overnight stays (or just have never had to visit the hospital for any reason) don't realize how lucky we are to have the level of expertise that this hospital provides. So, if you're one of those fortunate people, count your blessings. We count ours every time we leave. Spending just 5 minutes walking the halls will put everything into perspective. ♥
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