"Are you dieting?"

That's the question I was asked last Friday by my Grannie.  Here is the rest of the conversation...

Me:  "Nope."
Grannie:  "Well, are you trying to lose weight?"
Me:  "I'm not trying to gain weight."
Grannie:  "Are you exercising?"
Me:  "Nope."
Grannie:  "I wish you'd try to lose weight."
Me:  "I wish you'd stop bringing over chocolates, cakes, muffins, brownies, cupcakes...."
Grannie:  "Oh.  Okay."

So, later in the day... we're grocery shopping.  The Demon wants a stupid stress ball thing.  Total waste of money.  I said "NO, it's junk."  He asks Grannie.  Here is the conversation...

The Demon:  "Can I have this!?"
Grannie:  "Why do you need it?"
The Demon:  "Because I want it, I'm stressed"
Grannie:  "I'll make you a deal, if you watch what you eat all week I'll get it for you."


(minutes later he comes walking down the aisle with her holding a honey bun)


"Look, Grannie is getting me a honey bun."

SERIOUSLY?  She is maddening.