i lied.

i should be happy.  i mean, we're home right?  the demon is feeling great (minus the few seconds as i pack his 4x2 in wound).  we finally celebrated my brother and my momma's birthdays (although, i completely forgot about her turning 60 this year and we did nothing special..).  everyone seems to actually be healthy..and i'm sure as i post this something is sure to happen tomorrow and we'll end up in some ER.  however, right now, i should be happy.

the problem is, i'm not feeling all that happy.  i'm so bummed that my "vacation" was spent entirely in the hospital.  the final days of my "vacation" have been spent doing nothing.  we can't go swimming.  we can't go to kings island and ride rides.  it's been so hot that the thought of spending any time at the zoo makes me sick.  my brother had his car smashed up and is dealing with the aftermath of that.. so he's not up to doing anything either.

after spending the last 12 days in the hospital i'm up a total of 6lbs.  

what little motivation i had to lose weight has disappeared.

i don't care.

i know, i know.. it could always be worse. but after everything we've all been through this summer i didn't think it was too much to hope that the last few weeks could be spent actually enjoying the time off of school before having to go back to our lame routine.  

i'm afraid i'm feeling a lot like i did at the end of last year.  maybe i need to dance?  but even that isn't enough anymore.  i'm perfectly content sitting in my chair doing nothing.

except.. monday i have to go back to work.