christmas eve.

it's christmas eve.  everyone has left and i'm home alone...watching home alone.  ha.

we did everything the same as we've always done for christmas eve. 

we ate sandwiches.

we sent the boys next door so that we could load their stockings.

we opened gifts.

we had cheeseball and chex mix.

the demon left for his dad's house at 9..and everyone dispersed.   just like normal.

only... nothing was normal about this christmas at all.

the other day, while i was wrapping presents, i labeled one of them to the demon from my mom.  every year the demon has been alive, i've wrapped her gifts to him.  lately i've started wrapping gifts from my Grannie to him as well.  so, it was totally accidental but instead of writing my grandma's name, i wrote my mom's name after "GMA".  it was completely done out of reflex but it was a sobering moment for me.  

i managed to figure out a way to listen to christmas carols and be happy, but i couldn't wrap gifts without being sad.

go figure.

i hope everyone has a very merry christmas.  please, make these days memorable and filled with love and laughter.  you never know when this christmas may be the last you spend with your loved ones.

Christmas 2011